So this whole blog this was supposed to be fun, but it is turned more into a place for me to just vent my emotions and prevent myself from taking it out on someone else. I know I need help, medical help. I am not who I used to be. I never want to do anything or go anywhere, I just sit around and mope to myself and watch movies all day. I know I need the help but I dont want to go, I keep denying myself that I need it or I am just too proud. My mom has been begging me to go to a counselor but I dont want to, I just want some medicine or something that will make me feel better, less depressed all the time. And i cant ask her to do that for me because she would make me go to a counselor. Why must everything be so difficult. I send out these subliminal crys to the bf but he never seems to catch them, i wish he could see that and I dont want to just oust all my sorrows to him because I feel like i burden him enough and dont want to make him feel bad or bring down his feelings. It is nice to finally have this outlet though and pretend that there are people out there that might read this. It would be wonderful if someone did find this, someone that could give me some advice...
Update: So i just posted this and need to vent one more time. He asked me if I was ok! Finally!! what I have been looking for. I said "im fine" which usually translates to "no not really but I am going to pretend to be ok" and he says "k" Why cant I just tell him I am upset!? Why cant I just be a happy person and talk about my feelings with people!?
Update: So i just posted this and need to vent one more time. He asked me if I was ok! Finally!! what I have been looking for. I said "im fine" which usually translates to "no not really but I am going to pretend to be ok" and he says "k" Why cant I just tell him I am upset!? Why cant I just be a happy person and talk about my feelings with people!?
Hey there,
ReplyDeleteI saw the link you posted on the WHOF guestbook. If you want to talk to someone, sometimes it's easier with someone who doesn't know you...I am happy to listen...this is my gmail, if you prefer..
Take care, and take a deep breath.
Amanda
Kind of the reason I made this in hopes that unbiased people I dont know would give advice! Thanks for the shoulder:)
Deleteno problem...reach out any time
ReplyDeleteHoney, you need to follow your mother's advice and see that counsellor. Nobody can just get you meds to make it better. And really, a counsellor would be able to recommend you to a doctor who can get you meds if they really feel you need them. Plus...as much as you love your boyfriend, he's young like you and isn't going to be able to help you through feelings of depression. You MUST make yourself responsible for your own happiness. It can't depend on anyone else. Trust your mom on this. She loves you more than her own life. I am a mother myself. I value my 15 year old daughter and my 14 year old son more than anything else. More than even my girlfriend. More than air. More than all the money in the world. Their happiness and health is always what comes first. Youe words break my heart. But they're also a cry for far more help than any boy your own age can is capable of understanding. Please, sweetie. Please listen to your mom. Please see a counsellor. Please give it a try. It really will be better for you, and for your relationship with your boyfriend.
ReplyDelete